31 March 2011

I wasn't able to write anything yesterday, but now that I can today, I wanted to wish my dad a belated Happy Birthday. This is the only picture I have of him by himself, and although it isn't what I was going for, I think he still looks as handsome as he does in person. Well, minus a few pounds. My dad is alot slimmer these days.

I know I don't say it as much as I should, but I love my dad more than I can ever try to express. We've had many rough patches and I've probably done and said alot of things that have hurt his feelings over the years, but he never gave up on me; on us. He knew eventually I would come around. For the longest time I was so angry at him. Angry for what he had done. Angry for leaving us; for leaving me. I didn't know how to act, how to respond to having a parent walk away. Well, thats not exactly fair. He didn't just turn his back on us. He always tried to be there for us kids and even my mom. It was just easier being apart I guess. Still, he wasn't there to hear my mom cry at night, I was. He wasn't there when I woke up in the morning or went to sleep at night. He was there for all major events; birthdays, holidays and graduations. But it always felt like he wanted to be somewhere else. Sometimes, it still feels that way. As I've gotten older we've gotten alot closer and I think our relationship has started to relax a bit. Its a little weird in the fact that he sometimes tries to give me a curfew and stuff. Lol. I think its partly because we didnt have a father-daughter relationship then and now that we do he tries to make up for that time. We can't take back those years. We can't take back those memories. What we can do is make the best of the time we do get to spend together. Despite everything, he is the only man in my life that I know I can count on til the day I stop breathing. I love him so much it hurts.

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