Last year one of my best friends underwent weight loss surgery. It's been an incredible journey to witness. Few people understand the emotional and psychological transformations that occur along side the actual process of losing weight. It's so much more complicated than people are lead to believe. Having known other people who had gone through it, I thought I knew what to expect. What I got, however, sort of feels like a slap in the face.
My friends' journey hasn't been the easiest. For the first couple of months she suffered complications due to the initial surgery that landed her in and out of the hospital. Eventually a second surgery was scheduled to correct the first. Throughout that experience I tried to be as helpful and positive as possible. As she was starting to lose weight I didn't see very much of her. We sort of blamed that on our work schedules and her doctors appointments. The times we did pencil each other in, she complained about how much she hadn't lost. Again, having had experience with other people and struggling to lose weight myself, I knew sometimes you're the last person to see your results. I offered words of encouragement and reminded her that any journey wouldn't be easy. I also told her that she had come a long way from where she started. Another period of silence fell between us. When we finally communicated a few weeks, maybe months later, she talked about how she needed new clothes but couldnt afford to keep buying and buying as her weight was coming off. So, I lent her some of my clothes. At first, she complained they were too small. Then after six months, I saw photos surfacing on fb of her in them. It was around that point that she offered to give me some of her clothes. Curious as to what she would give me (considering she was wearing my clothes) I agreed to take them off her hands. What I got was her old clothes from before her surgery. Now, not to sound like a complete bitch, but if you were wearing my clothes, what would make you think I would fit into your old ones? I didn't say anything to her. I simply repacked them and put them in a donation box.
Fast forward to present day. I got a call from her last week asking if I wanted to exercise with her. Knowing I needed to get off my fat ass and exercise, I happily agreed. We went for a walk and talked about all that had gone on since the last time we had hung out. You guessed it, it had been months. We agreed that we would make an effort to exercise together on a regular basis. Yesterday, I get a text from her asking if I wanted some of her clothes that no longer fitted. Having just seen her, I thought I had a good idea of the clothes she would be giving me. So, once again, I accepted. When I got the bag, the clothes she gave me were even bigger than the first set. I guess she had cleaned her closet and found those clothes from her heaviest point. I kindly texted her that I appreciated the thought, but that the clothes were too big. I also asked if she had anyone else in mind to give them to and she said no.
Now, is it just me, or is she really trying to tell me how she thinks/sees me? I mean, I know I'm not a "slim jim", but for her to give me two sets of clothes, one bigger than the last, really is starting to fuck with me. Is she projecting how she still views herself onto me? Is she not so subtley telling me that I need to lose weight? What the hell?!!! I'm starting to think this little ole surgery really has turned her into an asshole.
Am I paranoid and reading into the situation or am I dead on point? You decide.